From Ulysses to Glamour?

A couple weeks ago I ignored Zap's advice (I know, bad idea) & began reading James Joyce's "Ulysses". I heard it's considered the ultimate example of Modernism in literature. The idea of reading a book with such an illustrious reputation excited me. Further, the fact that I'd read the book while running on the elliptical at the gym seemed appropriate because the Modernists were deconstructionists. What's a better way to deconstruct the practice of reading a classic piece of literature than to read it while exercising at the LA Fitness on Hollywood Boulevard? I just forgot one thing: I hate Modern lit.

When I first purchased the book I visited the "Ulysses" wikipedia page to see what I was getting myself into. I should have realized I was in deep when I saw the cliff's notes for each section. Had I read them closer I would have realized that the notes weren't talking about the themes, what was going on in Dublin at the turn of the century, or Joyce's influences, but rather simply explaining what was happening in each scene. Once I started reading the book I realized why this was necessary: the book is almost incomprehensible. It's like a Picasso made of words. Five days in a row I came home feeling like a total idiot. I literally cheered when I finally went back to the wikipedia notes and found that I'd actually followed the plot and even noticed two quotes that are apparently a couple of the most famous quotes from the book (I'd never heard them before).

I plodded through another week and then learned that "Ulysses" is widely considered the most difficult book in the English language. Why didn't I listen to Zap?? I'm one of those people who have a hard time putting down an unfinished book. I'll turn off a movie (and even walk out of a theater) in a heartbeat, but for some reason I'm always convinced that a book will get better. However, after four more attempts at making sense of this, the additional 500 pages made "Ulysses" the easiest one I've ever put down.

I can't say this morning's replacement is nearly as illustrious, and I still don't know how to apply makeup correctly (let alone what half the makeup products they talk about actually are or do), but tonight I'm not checking out a wikipedia page to find out what I read!