My Least Favorite Traveling Buddy

In 1997 I took the overnight train from Rome to Paris - rocking back and forth the entire night - and I had my first serious bout with vertigo. When standing still I would suddenly feel like I was standing at the precipice of a cliff. Often while walking I would bump into others because although I felt as though I was walking in a straight line, I was actually walking diagonally. This was annoying (and scary when I almost fell through the plate glass shower door), but it didn't prevent me from enjoying Rome.

Almost 10 years later I traveled back to Italy to spend a week celebrating my mother's 60th birthday with my family. This time the vertigo started with a feeling of mild motion sickness, but really knocked me out with major nausea after I returned home. I recall feeling sick for an entire week - not fun.

Before I left for India last month I prepared for flu, tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis, typhoid, Hepatitis A, malaria, nausea, anxiety and Delhi Belly. It's easy to see why I thought I was prepared for everything. It wasn't until the morning of my departure that AZ & I recalled my extreme nausea from vertigo after the 2005 Italy trip. I couldn't believe that I'd forgotten about that, but there was still time to pack decongestant for the flights.

While in India I never experienced any dizziness and I only felt nauseated on the afternoon of my arrival. I did catch the nasty head cold that was consuming the entire nation. I tried to eliminate all of my congestion before it came time to return to the States, but it was an especially bad cold.

It appears that the nasty vertigo is back. I haven't experienced dizziness or strange equilibrium issues, but less than 48 hours after my return I started feeling incredibly nauseated. Once it set in it really hasn't stopped. I made a doctor appointment for today due to my cold, but now I can't imagine riding all the way out to Santa Monica and back (a 30 minute ride, if that).

People say "cancer changes everything" and while I wish that wasn't my experience, so far it has. Surgery and chemotherapy completely changed my feelings about nausea. Every time I experience it I'm reminded of the last few chemo treatments and the isolation that nausea causes. Then that reminds me of the hell of treatment and I once again find myself wondering how this happened in the first place. It's a question I wish I would forget because I will never have an answer. Besides, this doesn't help alleviate the nausea.

I hope this goes away soon...

Mum Taj Mahal

Mum Taj Mahal

This is by far my most difficult post yet. How do I describe how it feels to visit the Taj Mahal? It's truly inexplicable. Some words that come to mind:

Awestruck

Amazed

Blessed

Fortunate

Peaceful

Inspired

Loved

As you probably know, the Taj Mahal is a mausoleum that a husband built to honor his favorite (third) wife. (She died after giving birth to their fourteenth child.) He gave his first two wives the gates to enter the monument, but reserved the rest for his favorite wife, whom he called "Mum Taj" (Beautiful Crown). 

I was not prepared for the way the building made me feel. It is the most extraordinary demonstration of love that I have ever seen. The entire structure, surrounding buildings and gardens were designed with a singular focus on grace and care. The Taj simply radiates love and devotion. 

We traveled to Agra by bus on Saturday. A Fresh Chapter Alliance Foundation partnered with G Adventures to provide us with an unforgettable experience. G Adventures' India CEO "Shazz" - aka Happy - was our phenomenal host for the weekend. (We miss him!) G Adventures hired Sanjay - aka Wisdom - an incredibly knowledgeable guide whose enthusiasm for all of the Agra sites was obvious and infectious.

After lunch at our hotel Saturday we visited Agra Fort, which was built by Akbar the Great, and which still serves as an Indian army post. The fort is a large, red, beautiful structure that has several beautiful gardens. As with the Taj (built by Akbar's grandson), every single aspect was carefully planned. Sanjay told us that in several places the gardens are divided in quarters. Each quarter is intended to represent the four liquids: water, wine, milk & honey.

We then traveled to a beach across the river from the Taj to watch the sunset. The Taj is so beautiful & the air here is often so misty that it didn't seem real. A short distance from the Taj is a crematorium. Fires were burning the entire time we were there. Sanjay cremated his father there last year, and he said a silent prayer. He said there's another location on the other side of the Taj where families scatter their loved ones' ashes in the river. (Although it isn't the Ganges, it is a tributary of that great river, so people view it the same as scattering ashes in the Ganges.)

After a buffet dinner at a five-star resort, we returned to our hotel for a short night's sleep. We all met in the lobby at 6 AM Sunday to head over to the Taj. After a quick bus ride we boarded beautifully decorated horse-drawn carriages to take us up to the Taj. (G Adventures thinks of EVERYTHING.) As for the Taj, I can't add more to what I said above. It's just so difficult to convey.

After the Taj we ate a big breakfast, cleaned up, then drove through an incredibly colorful Sunday market to Fatehpur Sukri - an abandoned city that Akbar the Great inhabited for several years. As Sanjay said, the Agra Fort is about power, the Taj Mahal is about love, and Fatehpur Sukri is about happiness. That was evident throughout the grounds (except the area around the mosque, which was difficult to enjoy due to the aggressive hawkers).

If you ever plan a trip to Delhi, I highly recommend a side trip to Agra. It took us three hours (with one stop) on a well developed highway. I hear it's easy to get there on the train.

I feel like I'm not doing this experience much justice, but I have an excuse: as of tomorrow I will have been sick for an entire week. All of the CCS volunteers are sick - as well as many locals - everyone is coughing wherever I go. That said, it's time for bed!

A Quintessential India Experience

A Quintessential India Experience

Today I had what I consider to be a quintessential India experience. We were scheduled to tour the National Museum with its former Director (this Cross Cultural Solutions Program is amazing), but it was canceled. (I hope it's rescheduled for next week - I would hate to miss it.) With the museum tour canceled we did what any self-respecting Westerners would do with a free afternoon: we went shopping.

I was excited for my first ride on the Delhi Metro. They sell single tokens for each ride. They rub the token on a pad that tells the chip in the token where it was purchased and its value (like the pads they rub books on when you purchase them to turn off the inventory control chip).

After we all purchased our tokens we went through the Ladies' metal detector, put our bags through the X-ray machine & then rubbed the tokens on a pad that opened the gates to allow you to enter the Metro. There was just one problem: my token didn't work. After several tries - and several big red X's on the entry screen - the gate wouldn't open. Ugh.

I returned to the window where I purchased my token. At this point there was a long line and several men were cutting the line.  So I did what any self-respecting Jersey Girl would do: I cut in front of all the men, and shoved my token through the window.  The response: "you have to go over there - to the Customer Care line."

Dejected, I joined that line. While waiting one man came up on my right to cut me off on line. Just before the person being helped was finished another man came up on my left to cut me off. Again, Jersey Girl in Delhi: as soon as the person in front of me was done I put my (bandaged) left arm up to block the more aggressive cutter on the left, then, as soon as he backed off, I switched to my right to cut off the first cutter. Just like that I was at the window, my token was fixed, I sailed back through security and the gates to join the rest of the group.

The subway is by far the nicest & cleanest I've ever seen. We only went two stops to the Dilli Haat Market. (We were advised to shop there because you have to pay to get in.) It was surprisingly quiet. Although the prices weren't as low as I anticipated, I think that's just because I'm much better at negotiating deals for my clients than I am for scarves, purses, etc.

Volunteering

The night after my placement orientation my lymphedema flared up again. I had to bandage myself for the first time since January. As a result, I haven't gone to my volunteer placement and I've been working with Jaagi to find a placement that doesn't involve using that arm and working in dirty places.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with the founder of a startup nonprofit. If she approves of me I will spend my time helping her build her program and devise a fundraising strategy. I'm hopeful this will work out as I've always wanted to do international nonprofit work. This nonprofit prepares children who have never gone to school to enter a school program (the government doesn't provide free schooling to all children). She also works with their laborer parents to teach them why it's important to educate their children. Wish me luck!

India History Lesson

Yesterday the Chair of the Jawahar Lal Nehru University Political Science Department came to give us a lesson on India and its political history. (Did I mention this program is amazing?) He talked for 2-1/2 hours but hey, we're in India.

Here are some choice items from this once-in-a-lifetime experience:

-In this part of the world, more people survive on accident than on purpose.

-Don't dismiss India's surprises as irrationalities. Whatever you generalize about India, the contrary will also be true.

-Any civilization that thinks it has nothing to learn from other nations is a dying civilization.

-Be careful when you generalize about the Indian population because there are so many people. 1% of the population is very rich, but 1% of the population of India is 13 million people, which is close to the populations of many European nations.

- If Cleopatra's nose has been 1/2" longer or shorter, the history of the world have been different because the Romans would have continued east to conquer India and Afghanistan. (Love this one!)

- Indian culture considers it very rude to refuse a request for asylum.

- After the 1857 rebellion the British Parliament took over managing India from the British East India Company. The British government established universities that educated Indians about Western liberal thought, which then led to the ultimate demise of British rule in India. (Perhaps that's why this government doesn't provide universal education to its youth?)

- India's greatest achievement is that it has survived as a secular democracy. (It is pretty amazing.)

- India is home to the world's largest number of "absolute poor" - more than Sub-Saharan Africa.

- The Indian state was created through nonviolence, but the country is now one of the most criminalizes states. (The woman managing the school I may assist wont apply for government grants due to the bribery & corruption. The newspapers are filled with horrible stories about rape and murder. From what I've gathered so far, most crimes are perpetrated against children.)

- The Indian court system has 30 million pending cases. 

Good luck with that.

Second Anniversary - Incredible India

Cancer diagnosis

Today is the second anniversary of my Stage IIB breast cancer diagnosis. It truly feels like another life. In the two months leading up to that day, we were:

-planning our Labor Day wedding at Stanford

-wondering which exotic locale we would visit on our extended honeymoon

- traveling to Cabo San Lucas, Miami and Ft. Lauderdale within two months' time

-finding a weekend that worked for me and Las Madrinas (Jenn and Tara) to plan a shower/bachelorette

-buying a wedding dress that I picked up days before diagnosis, and which still hangs in its bag in my closet

-hell, even setting up this blog so Angel and I could regularly share our ideas, comings, goings, recipes, wines and anything else we fancied

When I look back on that time it doesn't seem like it was ever a part of my life. But it was. It was a wonderful time filled with love, hope and promise.

Cancer changed everything immediately. Most of the changes weren't good; most of the experiences were quite difficult. We've learned that cancer forever transforms your life. But none of the items listed above are things I couldn't do now simply because I had cancer. 

This last point is what #Delhi2013 and A Fresh Chapter is all about. Yes, cancer was - and is - a really big deal. Although we all still experience varying levels of side effects, we are here and we can invest in building inspiring, powerful post-cancer lives. Cancer did not rob us of ourselves. We are here.

India day 3

Day 3 was dedicated to orientation on the NGOs we will serve. Unlike our expectations, our orientation began with picking up the volunteer coordinator in what is easily one of the nicest neighborhoods on this continent. (Think Bel-Air or Beverly Hills.) She took us to a large, lovely Montessori school not far from her home to tell us about the placement & serve chai and cookies on a terrace in the middle of the school. The children at the Montessori are graduates of the programs in the slums in which we'll be working. They still live in the slums and I was thrilled to see them learning in such a beautiful environment.

From there we went to the NGO in Okhla. It was a perfect juxtaposition of Indian wealth and poverty coexisting. As soon as we opened the car door at Okhla we all realized we had to walk across a dirt road that doubles as a sewer. I thought I knew what raw sewage smells like. I didn't.

We quickly passed through the gate to the community center & from then on all we heard was laughter and excited, whispered greetings, all we saw was women and boys with wide smiles in classrooms (the girls learn at a different location) (they also have a state-of-the-art computer lab several LA nonprofits I know would drool over), and all we felt was the joy of the people. During the debrief at Home Base the Country Director said this experience will teach us there are different ways of thinking about poverty. Yes, it will.

We were just there to meet people; the real work starts today. (Unfortunately, I will miss it as my lymphedema started bothering me again and I had to bandage myself last night. I'm hoping a day of rest will help.)

After lunch and an extended Hindi lesson, we were divided into teams and given an hour to accomplish tasks designed to make us feel more comfortable in the neighborhood.  The assignments:

Take the Metro three stops away (during rush hour), come back to Home Base. (This team had a man on it so they couldn't ride in the women-only car. The woman on the team was the only woman riding on the packed car - it was fine.)

Walk into town, find a taxi stand & negotiate some fares, then find an auto-ricks haw stand and negotiate a ride back to our community between 20-25 rupees. (They got back for 20 rupees, but when they realized he dropped them on the other side he refused to take them further.)

Walk into town and purchase eggs, potato chips and other groceries.

My favorite: walk into town, purchase bread, butter, cheese, tomato & cucumber, take them to your flat to make grilled cheese sandwiches, then find at least 5 people to whom you can give the sandwiches (they didn't negotiate much so they had to make them on hamburger buns, but they gave out 10 sandwiches - that was the hardest part!).

My team: walk into town and purchase stamps (the post office closed at 4 - before we left), cold medicine (we quickly found the pharmacy), and an international landline calling card. It was fascinating because we couldn't get a calling card. Indians have so completely embraced mobile technology that no one uses landlines. We visited upwards of fifteen to twenty shops. (We would have had no trouble finding an iPhone5 or Samsung Galaxy.) My favorite stop was the bankers who tried using Google on their iPhones to find a local shop that sells them. No luck. I felt like I was in 3 worlds at once.

No wonder the tourism agency here is called Incredible India.

#Delhi2013 Dozen On the Town

One of the many lessons I am really starting to get about India is if you think you understand India, but you have never visited here (or any place like India that's really nearby), then you're almost certainly wrong. You can understand that there are differences and even investigate why those differences exist, but you don't get it until you're here for a very long time.

As I wrote that paragraph I thought about an Indian community in South LA County that Angel & I once visited with Sav and Neha. Literally all of the stores and restaurants sell Indian products, food or services. I recall thinking that this must be a little like how it is in India. 

It's not. At all. And the reason I can come up with in my infinitesimal knowledge is you can never assume anything is similar to India if it didn't have India's speed, energy, diversity with utter inclusion -there's rarely a choice, horns (oh my God, the horns) and the ever present knowledge that this is "normal" and it's not going to adjust to you or your needs.

 And why should it?

This blogging platform isn't letting me share pictures directly at the moment, but what's even better is on my Facebook page you'll find several pics that I and the others have taken as we tag and share posts. You can also see a lot by following @afreshchapter and @moonriderpro (our documentary filmmaker) on Instagram or Twitter.

It's getting late, so I'll bullet point today's highlights:

- When large numbers of people are trying to get to one place, they have no qualms about moving in and out of as many people they need in order to get to their destination faster. Several times I wasn't fast enough and I quickly found myself removed from anyone I know. There's no pushing or shoving, it's just how they get around. They drive EXACTLY the same way.

-  People like to get their pictures taken with Westerners. We definitely experienced this. We were told that it's because all fair-skinned Westerners are assumed to be rich British tourists and their families would feel honored for having members who met Brits.

- In orientation we learned that many in India, including well-educated women, dislike Western women due to the sexually revealing things they do in soap operas, TV, movies, and dance. There is a common impression that Western women are loose. (Apparently the 1960s Hippies caused a great deal of harm in this area because they embodied some of the same liberal morals that the Indians had already seen.)

- My favorite quote for the day: in India, the clock chases people. Westerners chase the clock. The group determined that the world would best function if we met in the middle. And when the Country Director wondered why anyone would need online dating - 'just go out and meet someone!' I realized this relationship to the  "clock" may have something to do with it.

There's more - a lot more - but I can't stay up all night!

Namaste

First Day in #Delhi2013

My Bedroom Window from the Terrace

I can't believe I've been in Delhi for less than 24 hours. I'm already lying in bed stifling sobs, crying softly  so as not to disturb my roommates. In true #Delhi2013 style I'm not crying for me or what I've experienced through cancer. I'm crying because one roommate (Dr. Alex) shared a beautiful letter her daughter wrote about her experience with cancer. Yes, she fears prematurely losing someone she loves, but her letter describes how her mother's cancer inspired her to be a better person. (I'm not blog-savvy yet: http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_ON_odd_?px=4062912&pg=personal&fr_id=13496)

Below follows a rough synopsis - I'm working on very little sleep here (more later) - of the trip to & arrival in Delhi.

LAX to DEL via LHR

I flew British Airways to London, then on to Delhi. The LAX customer service was pretty atrocious - it reminded me of stories I would hear about expats in London.  They even wouldn't issue a boarding pass to Delhi because Economy Premium was oversold by 10 seats.

My choice: fly to London and trust that I'll get a seat or call Mom & yell,  "turn around!" But as Angel often says of traveling to India, "you just have to say, "India, here I am!" I just didn't realize India would meet me at LAX.

I took the flight - I still wonder what they meant by "premium economy." (I'm thinking more like "God awful" and "don't plan to sleep - or use your tray if you're neighbor is resting on the cover.) 

Once I arrived in London everything changed. I didn't have to wait in the "queue" for my boarding pass - it was done in an instant. But the true coup de grace was the surprise upgrade to Business Class at the gate.

Champagne upon arrival at my seat? Check.

Scottish smoked salmon (again)? Check.

Seat that folds completely flat as a bed? Check mate - I was out like a light for 8 hours.

Accommodations

Our group is spread out amongst a community in South Central Delhi (well it is on the map, anyway). I learned during an afternoon walk in the rain (well, really slide around in the mud while trying to avoid getting hit by cars & motorcycles going every which way super fast while honking their horns*) that it is a protected community. I think it's a middle class area. This morning a hawker or two walked up the street and yelled about their items for sale - I have no idea what they were selling.

(*Today I heard whoever honks first has the right of way here. Is this true?)

I landed in one of the rooms with two other roommates - both Canadian. (I love that our group is heavily Canadian. Our countries don't socialize enough...)  We are on the second floor of a two-story flat that has its main floor on the third floor of our building. (Whew!) The stairs remind me of Jenn's 5th floor walk-up in Manhattan...

Losing My Old Self

Here's the funniest part - I keep getting lost. Tonight was the worst. My usually rock-solid sense of direction didn't follow me off the plane this morning.  In this environment you can't help but wonder the deeper meaning of something like this. Does this mean I lack direction? Or does this mean I have a mean case of an insidious non-drowsy jet lag? Or both?

Thank You

It's clear I and the #Delhi2013 Dozen are definitely going to have an intense, truly life changing experience here. Thank you to everyone who supported me every step of the way. You have no idea how hard I depended on my relationships to get me through treatment. I am still relying on you, and I am so grateful for your enthusiastic support.

Cecily

 P.S. I apologize for the lengthy post. And this doesn't even come close to all I wanted to tell you!

Watch It

Today I finished watching the 4-hour Independent Lens documentary based on the book "Women Hold Up Half the Sky".  Although often quite difficult to watch, I also found many of the women and girls to be incredibly inspiring.  I think every woman should see it.  Anything else I can say about this documentary won't even come close to doing it justice.  Just watch it.

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/half-the-sky/